Other Short Ditties

short-short stories by Mr. Raymond Kenneth Petry

Frogs

Once upon a time, frogs could talk ... they spoke English ... Good morning, Mary , Good morning, John ... and they lived very happily ... but ... they were complainers - frogs complained about everything ... but mostly they complained about being so small, and especially about being so short ... they hopped about like most frogs do today, and they were always getting dirty, and especially muddy ... they'd complain, We're all frogs, stuck, knee-deep in the mud ... and they'd complain all the more about it, they'd write laws and press charges about it, they'd even sing about it: We're just frogs, stuck, knee-deep, in the mud, knee-deep, in the mud, knee-deep, in the mud ... they complained all the time, and so much so that of course, after a very long time they slowly began to forget, how, to speak English ... they forgot to say, good morning, they forgot each other's names, then they forgot their own names, and they even forgot what they were complaining about ... eventually all they remembered was, to complain ... knee-deep, knee-deep, knee-deep ... Knee-Deep ... Knee-Deep ... knee-deep, knee-deep, knee-deep, ... KNEE-DEEP....

Jello

Once upon a time, there was a little, bowl of jello, sitting in the refrigerator ... and the little, piece of jello, sitting in the little bowl, was so tiny, that, it did not know how to, wiggle ... all it could do was go----wiggy!

[charmed 4-year laughter tends to end the story right there, but we can extrapolate]

Sitting next to this little bowl of jello was another, little bowl, of butterscotch pudding ... and they both wanted to be eaten ... they'd call out, "eat me ... please" ... and the little child who heard them calling, did!

Y2K: The Classic

FADE IN
1 INT. CYBERSHIP - DEEP PROCESS

CREW BUSY:

YEOMAN, female, santa-elf-dressed in red-and-white fluff, approaches the Captain:

NAVIGATOR
Captain: We're approaching the inner Y-2-K-limit: E-T-A: 10-point-7...

CAPTAIN
(orders)
Steady as she goes, Helm!
(a beat)
Communicator: Open hailing frequency!

COMMUNICATOR
Hailing frequency open, Captain:

[PA-SINGER] (CONCURRENT)
(cf 'Chestnuts Roasting')
Test-nets hosting on an open wire,
Crack-posts kibbitzing your news,
U-R-L's being hung by acquire,
Jokes trussed-up like ASCII-moes.
Everybody knows--
Some turkey,
And his missile-in-tow,
Help to keep the seasoning light;
Tiny dots,
With their 'i's all a-glow,
Will find the hard disk cheap,
To-night...

YEOMAN
(sidles-up, quiet)
Captain:
(a beat)
Some of the crew have this Y-2-K-pool -- and were wondering if you'd like to, participate?

CAPTAIN
(orders)
Comm: Can you eliminate that?!

COMMUNICATOR
(keys)
Sure, Captain: But, 'tis the season!
    (music diminuendo)
CAPTAIN
(resumes to yeoman, quiet)
What's the catch?
(smirk-grins)

YEOMAN
(smiles-back)
All expenses paid...

CAPTAIN
(cutes)
Sounds like fun--when did-they pay?

NAVIGATOR
(overly loud)
We have anomaly, prediction--!
(to side-display)
One-way Certification cut-off...!
Due to: Time-zone differentiation!
Net result: Insecure reflections!
Duration: 40 kilohesits!

SCIENCE OFFICER
(deep-ominous)
Captain:
This could be real serious hype!
1
FADE OUT


THE END
Strategic Director: Mr. Raymond Kenneth Petry
Screenplay by: Mr. Raymond Kenneth Petry

© [var],1981,1997-2002 Mr. Raymond Kenneth Petry

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